My Daughter Has Social Anxiety and I Need to Get Her in School.?

Question by the77bag: My daughter has Social Anxiety and I need to get her in school.?
My daughter has always been a good student. Mostly A’s and B’s. She is an avid reader and has always been thirsty for knowledge. As a younger student, she made friends easily and often had a group of her peers around her when I’d pick her up from school.

She started 9th grade last year when we lived in a smaller community. Things were great for the first half of the year. After winter break she became uninterested in attending. She had been sick for a week, then a family friend had passed away and she missed another week and then she got a really bad cold and didn’t attend for another week. I went to the school and got her assignments for her and for the most part, she was able to complete them.

Then, without provocation, she became severely depressed. She was afraid to attend school. Too many kids in the halls at passing time, the lunch room was too big with too many people in it at one time. She became fearful of attending and down right refused to go. The way she’d cry and plead to me how scared she was to go concerned me and broke my heart as well. I empathized with her.

At this point I will tell you that I am a single parent and always have been. Her father lives in a different state and has very little, if any contact with us. This information may or may not be integral in rendering your advise.

She started seeing a specialist in adolescent behavior and he agreed with my prognosis of social anxiety but we never resolved the issue. We only worked around it with the school, making arrangements for smaller classes and different times for attending so there wouldn’t be many people in the halls. At the end of the school year she had not met the required credits to complete the 9th grade.

I must be overly emotional because as I’m writing this I have begun to cry. I want my daughter to get an education. I want her to not be afraid of crowds of people. I want for her to attend college and fulfill her dream of one day being a Forensic Anthropologist. I want her to be ok.

We have moved to a larger city so I can take care of my mother who is in poor health. I know the timing is bad but I had been traveling 120 miles round trip 4 or 5 times a week to take care of my mothers needs that the care center she is currently at doesn’t provide. She is there due to slipping into a coma and being on life support last November.

I do not have a lot of money and it was becoming more and more difficult to continue at this rate. There is no one else to help my mother. She can not live alone and we can not afford to put her in a care center on a permanent basis. I asked my mom to move in with us but she didn’t want to leave her hometown, so we moved to hers. She will soon be moving in with us.

I need to get my daughter back in school but I don’t want to scar her for life by subjecting her to a new school that is 4 times the size of the school she had been terrified of. I can’t imagine how fearful she would be. I try to talk to her about it and she just clams up. I don’t know what to do. It sounds like she’s just being defiant and playing me but honestly she’s not. She even hates to talk on the phone. If she was starving to death and the only way for her to get food was to order a pizza to be delivered, she would die of starvation. She is that shy.

A couple years ago at Middle school, she was to give a speech in class. She literally broke down in front of her class and began to cry, then ran out of the classroom. She’s terrified. All these people had been in her school since Kindergarten. Why is she so afraid now.

My daughter is a really good kid. She doesn’t smoke or drink or do drugs. She doesn’t talk back. She is helpful around the house if asked to do something. Like most teenagers these days, she does like the Internet and plays video games. Nothing violent though. She is very loving and sensitive to the needs of others. She really is a good kid.

Someone please help me by telling me what my options are. Please.

Best answer:

Answer by forever and always
You could try putting her in special ed…

I’m sorry if that offends you but hear me out…
The special ed classes are smaller than the other classes, she’d get to know everybody in the class, and she wouldn’t have to go out of the room as often and deal with busy hallways. The teachers might even let her eat lunch in there if she can’t bear to go out and eat in the cafeteria with everybody else. It’s just an idea.

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